These past couple days have been rough.  I didn’t think this would affect me as much as it has, but what can you expect from death?  It haunts me throughout the day and even if I forget for a while, it comes back and jolts me to the edge of tears.  Sunday I was a mess.  That’s the day it happened and the day I found out.  Monday seemed to pass without a hitch, but then yesterday morning I woke up sobbing.  Today was a bit better, but when I talked to my professor Ari and my dad, I got choked up again.  I’ve just been so confused as to why I’m so upset.  I guess it’s a testament to Maddie and her lasting impression on those around her.  So young and beautiful.  I don’t know what I believe in and after this event I’m even more unsure, but to whomever is listening: I hope there was a good reason to take her from us. 

Decisions have been made and I’ll be going home this weekend.  My parents are coming to VT to pick me up Friday morning and although it’s certainly not convenient, I appreciate it more than I can express.  I just need to be around family right now and grieve with my friends back home.  Although I’m 20 years old, there is nothing a hug from my parents can’t solve.  No one here knew Maddie.  No one here was best friends with Meghan during high school.  People can understand the pain of losing someone, but every situation is different and only the people back home in RI can comfort me right now.  For my sanity I’m going back home to say goodbye.